10 Shady Friendship Signs You Shouldn’t Ignore
Do you have that friend who’s maybe become a little tooo comfortable in your friendship? Being a good friend means letting things go sometimes, but these are a few friendship signs you shouldn’t ignore.
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Do you need to have a tough talk with your friend? Check it!
Alright, I’m going to say something unpopular here. Are you ready? Ron Weasley… was a terrible friend. There I said it. Now before you start yelling at your screen, allow me to defend myself.
Ron’s got a jealous streak that pretty much makes him a selfish arse. He froze Harry out for months because he was convinced that he put his name in The Goblet of Fire. He was super rude to Hermione until she got hot, and then insulted her because she had the nerve to date someone else. And don’t even get me started on abandoning of his best friends while they were living as fugitives in “The Deathly Hallows”.
But the reason we don’t automatically villainize Ron, the reason I picture you getting all defensive on his behalf right now, is because… We love him. He’s goofy, charming, and funny. He’s the welcome comic relief in an otherwise intense series.
And that’s what happens in real life too. We often find ourselves excusing bad behavior from our friends because we love them. Or because we’ve been friends forever. I’m not saying we need to dump our friends any time they screw up. Because nobody is perfect. But there are certain bad behaviors that we shouldn’t just let go. Here are 10 shady friendship signs you need to look out for.
1. She’s flaky
Some people are naturally more organized and others more spontaneous. But personality differences don’t excuse a friend who is always late, blowing you off, or changing plans at the last minute. I’m sorry, but that’s just selfish. Or a sign that you aren’t a priority for her. Either way, yuck.
2. She gossips
Gossip is one of those ubiquitous things you find at any school. But that doesn’t mean you have to put up with it with your friends. This is hard to hear, but if you have a friend who is always talking about other people, I can just about guarantee that you’re the target when you aren’t there. You just can’t trust someone who gossips.
3. You dread seeing her
If just the idea of hanging out your friend is draining, that’s a sign something is up. It doesn’t make you a bad person or even a bad friend. It’s a signal that something about this friendship isn’t working for you.
4. Bossiness is a shady friendship sign
Does your friend always pick the movie, pick the restaurant, or even try to tell you what to wear? Some people are naturally more decisive, but healthy friendships are more balanced. If you try to make a suggestion and she automatically overrides it, that’s not cool.
5. She guilt-trips you
Good friends will give you their opinion when you need to hear it, but ultimately (unless what you’re doing is hurting you or someone else) your choices are your own, my friend. It’s not okay for anyone to use guilt to get you to do what they want.
6. She disappears when in a relationship
New relationships are really fun. And it’s normal for new couples to spend a lot of time together, especially in the beginning. But let’s be real, 99% of relationships end in a breakup, right? It’s not really cool to push your friends aside. So, don’t put up with a friend who kicks you to the B list every time she finds someone new.
7. Competitiveness is a shady friendship sign
There is such a thing as healthy competition. Good friends can inspire each other and push each other to do better. And being surrounded by talented friends can be a great motivator. But if your friend gets salty when you beat her or rubs her victories in your face, that is hardly inspiring.
8. She attracts drama
Everyone goes through tough times. But if it feels like it’s just one thing after another and you’re starting to feel exhausted from the constant drama, you might want to reconsider how much you want to invest in this friendship. Especially if she doesn’t have any energy left for you when you need her.
9. She insults you
Teasing and clever burns are part of a lot of friendships. But there’s a line between funny and hurtful, right? And saying “just kidding” after does not make it okay. If your friend makes a joke that hurts your feelings, tell her. Ask yourself what you think her intention is. Is she trying to make you laugh or is she trying to make herself look or feel better? Because if it’s the second one, that’s gross.
10. Betrayal is a shady friendship sign
Unless it’s to protect you or someone else from some kind of danger, there is no valid excuse for a friend to share your secrets. If you have a friend who breaks your trust, don’t just let that go. And if she tries to blow it off like it’s not a big deal, you should seriously consider demoting her.
If you notice any of these friendship signs, make sure to speak up. Call your friend out on it. You can do it nicely, but don’t ignore it and please don’t put up with it. It’s not easy to confront a friend, but when your time is limited, you do NOT want to waste it on friends who don’t have your back.